= Khem's Secrets =

Follow me

2011-07-22T10:06:00.002+10:00

Hey guys.

Follow me on my network sites :-P

Facebook

Twitter
http://twitter.com/kh3mxo

Instagram
http://instagram.com/khemxo

I must Move on!

2011-07-22T08:59:00.003+10:00

Its been almost 5 months or more and i still cant stop thinking you!!

I met this guy who does everything for me. Hes always there when i need him.
But why cant i see the good side? yes he can be abit annoying and abnoxious and rude sometimes.
But after me being real mean to him time and time, he still comes back to me. He makes me feel real
special in times like this. He gives me comfort.

I really need to see the good side of him, i do like him but i dont think in the way he wants me to like
him. I think maybe i need to give him a chance? But i dont feel anything for him.
He may not be the best looking guy, common i aint no peach either .. lol.
But i must admit i enjoy his company ... sometimes* :-P
He does get annoying with all his Melbourne talk, but other than that hes a neat guy.

The nicest thing he done was, drive all the way to the hospital and sat with me for hours straight until 2am and then
drove me home. And even then i didnt realise he was doing a nice thing. I was just so angry in everybody (my ex)
that i kept pushing him and being so mean to him telling him to go. That i didnt ask him to come see me!
And i didnt even see it, he stayed with me the whole time with minimal( mainly only because the wait, not coz he had to me there) ..
He actually stayed till the very end. It made feel so special, but i just couldnt see it then.
Daniel, I really appreicated what you did and have done for me and my kids in times of need. Thank you so much!
You are a good friend. But you have to learn to be easy and just chill and except my differences from all your "Melbourne" people.
I am going through alot lately, and i dont need you to be here just bagging me out about being rude!
Just be a friend and except it. Iv been down and all my anger and rudeness is not really directed at you! its mainly anger
i cant give to Dale so i give it to everyone else. Please understand. It takes time.

My ex in the hand, i asked him to come but drinking up with his mates was more important.
Giving me a sad story the next morning that he got pulled over n put in jail. After all this i dont even think i
believe a word he says anymore. Everything he says is a load of crap!
I have to learn not to believe anything from anybody anymore. And not feel sorry.

Its Khems time. I need to focus on me and my kids.
Get my car on the road again, and get that job Iv been studying for. I cant pack airlines food forever right?
The one of the many* reasons why my ex was that i didnt have a career path so Im gonna prove him wrong.
And show him what a loss hes going to regret ever playing with my heart all this time!

Anyways a good morning to you ^_*

Life

2011-07-21T11:22:00.000+10:00

My life revolves around my children.

My ex is a different story! Yes i am still very much in love with him. But whats done is done. Hes already made it clear.
Yes its pretty hard to Not miss me Dale. Im always good in bed. I will always pleasure in the sack.
But really. Honestly.

The story is, The morning his (my ex, refer to him as D.) fresh veitnam slut went back to her own country. Mr X picked me up
spent the whole day and night with me and our kids. Fuck the slut dosnt even realise. She thinks her man is so faithful. I really wanted
to tell her so bad. As what kinda man does that. Duhh D, yes you miss me alot, who wouldnt. But what will she think when she finds out?!
What kinda person does that to someone they love? i mean theyv only been together for a couple months but really .. dishonesty already??
What she didnt know was when she went interstate to visit families .. i was there to fill in once again. Yes her* man couldnt resist me The Ex*
Honest y and cheating had always been an issue for me and him. Id always had trust in him the whole time while we were together. But
seeing as this has happened im not so sure what really happened while i was away on holidays or just away ...
But i know, i always trusted him then.

My ex needs to wake up and realise there are kids involved now. He cant keep playing peoples heart anymore. Hes gotta pick
a chapter and finnish it. He cant keep making excuse because he wants his cake and eat it.

Yes I admit it, iv missed him so much. Sex was always good. Always feel satisfied in the end both ways.

But now im not gonna chase anymore. My children Amelia and Dallas will always come first. Even though their deadbeat father
prefer to fiddle around with some slut that lives millions miles away then thats his choice. We have nothing to do with
his life anymore. His loss. I can easily make it on my own.
I would prefer to have a father figure. But what you gonna do when the other party dosnt want any part.
I will try my best to raise them properly and give them what they need growing up.
I have my family and friends to help me emotionly.

Anyways, April/July was pretty hectic. 2 hens night, 2 weddings to attend. Been and gone. Good.

Ill update next time with some pictures :-)

iPhone 4

2011-07-08T21:26:00.005+10:00

I got an iPhone 4 and I love how it has 2 camera's. Back/forwards. So Iv just been playing with it. Its fun. And yes its made me a little too vein. (although i think i was before, but Iv become more vein ...)

Anyways a few happys snaps =D
Playing with the forward camera ....

Morning .

2011-06-29T08:23:00.004+10:00

Hi guys.

Today i hope will be a good day.

My "X" and i are finally actually having conversations that are mature and pleasured.
I am happy with that, but on the other hand still very upsetting that he is still with "her"! Oh well you cant have everything right?

I wonder what she would do or say if she knew what her man was saying and upto while i was at his place last friday when she went interstate?!
All i know she wouldnt be too happy! I wont kiss and tell but i know she'd be real Pissed!! Nothing happened, but all im saying is something "was" about to happen. Im stronger than that. Wow I can still get him just with a click.
He still loves me and there will always be a connection between us.

Im done being the 2nd person in this. Im not going to lower myself anymore.
Play hard to get.

Anyways, Iv been spending with my best friend Mhaila. We had a big night on saturday, with a bit of dramas. But we had fun.

Our kids are on holidays so were taking our girls out today.
Should interesting.

Hoping to find an outfit for my cousins Hens night on saturday, and some shoes for my sisters wedding on sunday.

Anyways have a lovely day.

Shocking

2011-06-24T10:18:00.004+10:00

OMG! my car has finally carked it on me. I need a new engine.

I called Dale to come check it out. The car was already at the mechanics. (Dale hates hates him now) Anyways yes he checked it out. It does look bad. FML where will i get the money to pay for it to get fixed.

We took a long drive last night and talked. It felt so weird being in his car. I jumped in the back seat lol. So not comfy. NO wonder my kids complain lol.

Anyways the words iv been praying for this whole time since our break up .. hes finally said it. WTF just when i was ready and trying to give up on hoping and move on and try to be happy.

The words 'I want you back.'

What do you do in this situation? I dont think i can handle another heartbreak from the same guy again if this dosnt turn out?!
I want him back so bad! Iv loved him and will always love him so much.

It was so good to actually have a good conversation without painful words.
His hugs so warm. Iv missed him.

Here goes another chapter. My decision is my own. No one else.

Till another day i will let you know how i go, at the moment i just want to take it as life takes me and let my heart take me to where ever it guides me.

xox

F U

2011-06-22T21:45:00.004+10:00

FUCK you are the Devil!!

My ex has been nothing but a pure evil dickhead!
He was never liked this. I dont know why hes such a prick now though.
Mustv been the stupid bitch he met.
Anyways Iv been down this whole time.

The things he says and do to me has been really rough for me. Insulting, painful and hurtful. I dont know how someone can treat another (esp someone you have loved for more than 10 years) the way he does. And have the nerve to try to blame me or all this. This whole time Iv been the one with the broken heart. Get my heart ripped out and to him, I still was the one who split us up ?! WTF!
He was the one who, met some girl online, told her he loved her way before he even met her, fucking me and telling her we broke up, then buys a ticket to go visit her, telling me that hes just going on holiday to see the country because hes always wanted to. Before leaving, tells me not to worry that he'll be back before i knew it. Then comes back and tells me straight up that he has fallen in love with and that she makes him happy! And here i am, with two kids.

We'v lost the missing piece to our puzzle.
Im always judge when people see or hear that I am a single mother, well please dont judge me before you actually really get to know me.
Being a single mother was NOT my choice. My choice was to marry the man i loved, the father of my beautiful kids.

Shocking that if he walked back into our lives and say he wants a second chance I would. Is that sad?

My life at the moment is a mystery. Im living my life day by day with my kids. Hoping for the best for us three. I have my family and good friends.

Picture from my sisters Hens night on Saturday 18th June. (Im trying not stay home and feel sorry for myself all the time. As you can see I use too much alcohol to numb the pain. Bad idea)

My weekend

2011-06-13T08:50:00.004+10:00

WOW! What a weekend!
My kids were away at their dad's, so i made the most of my days not mopping about at home and did stuff outdoors. I had alot of fun. Even if we didnt do much ..

On saturday night was pretty fun, Club hopping :-) Lets just say at the end of the night i just passed out in the car. (Knowing the Dj's is a very good investment in getting into clubs for free)

Sunday i went to Baristo Fiesta - Filo Festival. Different. It was fun. Performance was good/funny lol.

Spend alot of time with my beautiful bestie Mhaila. Shes the sweetest chick. If you meet her you'd love her too :-)

I miss my babies so much, while they were gone. Cant wait to squeeze them.
Amelia and Dallas I love you xoxo

TGIF

2011-06-10T18:27:00.003+10:00

Thank God Its Friday!

But what to do? Im at home tonight. Nowhere to go, Nothing to do?! How bored will i be tonight? Everyones like TGIF but whats the big deal when theres nothing planned right?
Im spending my friday night with my beautiful yet naughty as kids. I love them to bits.
I would never trade them for anything! Too bad their dad thinks different.
I loved their father so much until he turned his back on us for his own happiness. He broke 3 hearts for his own. What kinda father does that?? Anyways whp needs a man like that anyways. Like i said before we can do this on our own!! No man, no worries!!

Anyways I will be back later to update ...

A new beginning

2011-06-05T20:04:00.002+10:00

Hey, welcome to a new beginning into the life of Khem. My relationship status is currently single.
I am starting a fresh new start in life.

Although i admit missing my Ex who repeatedly keep breaking my heart and hurting me with insults, torture (meaning sticking pictures of his new bitch over the net, nothing abusive), never calling to even speak to the kids, or even paying child support or the amount he should be paying, stuff like that. Just 2 weeks ago according to him his kids are only worth $25 a week each. WOW how low.
Be a father/ at least call to say good night. Not just wait until its his weekend?! Like WTF nah man my kids deserve wayy better than that. Otherwise you may as well have NO rights to see them. Your lucky i havnt even claim child support yet.

Do you know what?! I pleaded n cried my eyes out for him to take me back over n over knowing that he wanted someone else, but i wanted him back to be a family for our 2 kids and he ignored my plead for weeks all because he wanted to be happy with someone else/ all because his happiness is more important than our kids/ mine.
I didnt know this but even my 7 year old daughter pleaded with him to stay with 'US' and be a family again. He turned his back on her too.

Then he had the nerve to Plead with me to hold off the child support claim. Guess what?? I am!!! WTF . Should i be?? Well Next week im off the the child support office because iv had enough. He keeps hurting me and thats it! Time for me to move on. Forget about him and live life.

My life will be complete soon.

My journey continues from here.

Officially Single*

2011-05-12T18:14:00.000+10:00

Yay! Welcome back me! not!!!
Anywho, alot has happened.

Long story short - My partner/ father of my kids/ love of my life for 10 years thought it be okay to go on a short 10 day holiday to Veitnam. Just so he can explore whats out there. I agreed and told him to have fun. Little did i know he'd come back in "Love" with another women!

Well screw men all together! I can play at that game also. Ive been miserable until now. Ive been out, meeting new people and I am having FUN! Although i would much prefer *D (my ex) but hes already made his choice.

Anyways im gonna live my life and focus on my two beautiful Angels. If their fathert cant see that then hes fucked! And Fuck that slut! She too can go to hell!!! Very bitter i know. But it hurts.

Until next time.

HI

2011-03-30T09:36:00.002+10:00

Hi, sweet misery!

My "Break" from Dale is the worst iv ever been! The feeling sux!
Iv been trying to keep myself sane through all this. Ive meet a few interesting people along the way, but nothing :-(
He keeps popping into my head. I cant stand the feeling that he "may" or "maynot" be happier with other people. Grrrr.
Just hurry up and make your decision already damn you loser! Im going crazy!
NO one else will ever come close to the life we shared for 10 years ...
I will be here waiting for you. So will our beautiful kids.

xoxo Love you

New Year New Day New Life

2011-02-20T21:53:00.004+10:00

Completely confused at the moment.
Love life not going as i want it to. On a break. A little string holding our relationship together. I dont think it will ever work out with us.
I think maybe its time i let go. Its alot harder when you cant let go. Andall you think about us being together. I ask myself what exactly am i holding on to when the other half is trying to let you go?! Is it love? Kids? The history? I wish all this nighmare would just go away. I wish it was back to when i didnt know nothing. Then it will all be fine!

Sorry for the poor update, im just to tired n depressed to even type. Maybe next time i'll post the whole story, when i have more time. Good night.

I love you Dale xoxo

what to do?

2010-09-15T11:26:00.002+10:00

Wow, time flies when you dont really want it.. But goes so quick when you dont *sigh* im already 27 n hating it!!! Im too old. :-(

I havnt even accomplish anything yet. I need to set my goals and live by it. Settle and save save save!!

My Goal for the rest of this year is: save at least $2000 so i can take Dale n the kids to a nice hotel and relax or a nice road trip. I feel that i am neglecting them and only thinking of myself. They deserve the rewards also. So hopefully i can live by it. Also get Amelia that bike and boombox she always been nagging me for.

Its just so hard when i have alot of things to pay off and all i can put aside is next to nothing. Sad but very true :-(

Oh and on another subject, my paypal has been suspeneded, sad but i guess its a good thing in a way.

update on life

2010-03-30T10:33:00.000+10:00

Hey, well it has been awhile since Iv logged onto this. I havnt been busy or anything. I just couldn't be bothered logging in lol.
Well Amelia has settled into grade 1 fine. A lot of her friends from last year has moved classes but the new kids are being kind to her. She's made lots of new friends. I'm still debating weither to change her out of the private school and into a public school!? I'm not too sure yet, as last year she was complaining she had no friends. But she seems to be fine now. Ill give it another year and decide then.

Dallas has started toilet training, he's in undies during the day, back in nappies at night. He does his wee's in the toilet, but he thinks its "yucKy" to do poo's so he askes for a nappie. But he's doing pretty well. His teacher at Daycare said had a nap without a nappie last week ... So happy mum right here ;-P.

Eastert is creeping in real fast. Easter Friday in 3 days!! I havnt bought eggs for kids yet. Nothing special planned yet, but my friend has invited us to have a easter hunt so ot should be fun.

I'm out. Updating via mobile is pretty trippy ;-/

Quick note

2010-02-25T19:43:00.002+10:00

So its alomost 1 whole week since i got back from New Zealand. Oh how i miss their weather. Australia is too damn hot! Its only nice if you own a pool.
So i went shopping with a friend today, found the perfect jacket. So spewing i didnt walk into that shop before i went to New Zealand :-(.

It was one of those shops where you find alot of those American brands like, Apple bottom's, G-unit, Sean Johns, Hustler, Abercrombie and stuff. Lots of basketball singlets. Well i never really went into that store before because it looked kinda gangstar - y and i only mostly see African's or Samoan's walk in, i just thought i was a culture store. Not that i dislike. Just didnt think anything would suit me.
But anyways i walked in for the 1st time and found a Ed Hardy jacket!! Loves it heaps. I had to get one. Yay. And only $50 AU. You cant beat that concidering i got a Ed hardy Tee for almost double that price just for a Tee shirt $75 AU.
Bargain for me today. lol

So i am just waiting for Dale to get home from work. I cooked rissoles, mashed potatoes/kumaras and mini pies with eggs and cheese. Kids loved it. Now they in bed.
So im off

Laters

1 more sleep

2010-02-18T05:34:00.007+10:00

Okay so I am still in Palmerston North NZ. The weather is ok today i guess. Its not raining like yesterday. Its abit misty though. My sister in-law has just left to drop her kids of at school so im just chilling with Grace (my niece).

I dont know what is in store for me today but hopefully she'll take me shopping or something. I'll get too bored if i stay here all day. Plus Im leaving for Wellington this afternoon because my flight back to Australia leaves tomorrow morning.
Long story short, they'v stop all direct flights coming to and from Australia to Palmerston completely and its made it alot harder for us because all our families and friends are mostly only based in Palmerston. Sucks!!
Anyways so It will be about a 2 hour drive to Wellington. Then hopefully catch up with my cousin's for dinner. I hope they still up by the time we get there!?

Well i will probly just walk over to 'Pear's' house this morning to see her for abit. I did wanted to go town to buy something for my kids though. I miss them deadfully! Cant wait to give them a big HUG!!! I have never left Dallas for this long, so he'll hate me later. Lol

Oh and yesss!! i have ZUMBA!! Thanks Sok and Chow :-)

Anyways heres a few pictures of my trip. Okay so mostly of kids and me, But these kids just too cute!!

Greetings from an oversea computer hehe

2010-02-16T07:16:00.004+10:00

I have been in Palmerston North, New Zealand!!
Here for my "best girl cousin's wedding" be back in Australia on friday the 19th.
Will post pictures up ASAP.

Bye for now, my ride has come to pick me up for an outing ...

Potty training

2010-01-24T17:09:00.002+10:00

Iv been trying to potty train my littl boy Dallas.
Hasnt been a sucess yet, but hopefully it will happened.
We were out shopping the other day, and he (Dallas) just out of no-where asked to go toilet to do poo poo. What a smart cookie, but it didnt happened then lol.
He just sat there n swinged his foot side to side and sang little songs.
10 minutes later ... he says, all done, But still nothing.
So i tried not putting a nappie on after, but he pee'd through it.
Poor baby was so shy he just stood there and stared. lol. So cute. And h even said Uh ooh, all wet and Sorry Mummy. Awww.

I hope h learns it soon, he's now 2 years and 5 months. So i really want to get im into undies soon before he hits 3. Is there any sugestions??? Please help. Any advise will help me alot.

Dress

2010-01-21T22:13:00.002+10:00

Im of to New Zealand for my best girl cousin's wedding. And iv found the dress that i will possibly be wearing. Although i dont want to wear black to a wedding, but i tried the dress on today and i LOVED it. && i got lots of compliments from other shoppers :-)
The best part was the dress only cost me AU$69.99. Bargain.
Now for the shoes, i think i am gonna go with silver or gold heals?! i hate those colours!! But i cant wear just black, or maybe i could ...

So all i need is some new shoes and i am good to go. Plus accessaries. And for the make-up? well i dont usually wear it, so that shouldnt be a problem.

IM so excited, i cant wait. Counting the days till i fly out ... 19 Days left!!

what was the subject again ...

2010-01-21T06:30:00.004+10:00

OMGOSH!! how much do i want breast implant??
Im so obsess with it now its so not even funny.
I am a size 10B but i swear its getting smaller?!
I didnt even breastfeeed my kids.

Anyways i was over for it for awhile, but then the other day someone else bought it up and she is getting it this year, so now im debating weither i should just get them. But with what money?! man i'll rob a bank lol. NO jokes. I'll go without food?! hahaa NOO.
Hopefully win the lottery. Anyone wants to donate??

I do wear a push up bra with gel to make my breast look bigger and cleavage. But wearing that all the time is gay. I wanna be able to not wear a bra sometimes :-D
I want the look that Katy Price have, or maybe Pamela but abit smaller ...
Im too short, im only 5'1, 53kilos .. So i want some thing thats looks ok, and kinda natural but not. Do you know what i mean?? lol I dont know now ..

I bnought these leapard bikini's for very cheap the other day, (but i wont tell you how much $$ lol) it was so cheap .., anyways, i dont know why i bought them considering i dont even wear bikini's in public ... lol. But they look nice in the shop, but when i tried them on they looked weird. And thats when i decided i really REALLY want breast implant, and maybe a tummy tuck, laser surgery for my stretch marks .. blah blah blah .. lol

Anywho, into another subject today im going shopping to buy Amelia shoes and some shorts for school. Because she goes to a Private school (St Frances College) i have to buuy her black leather shoes and sneakers. I bought her cheapish black shoes last year,she went through 3 pairs because she kept scapping the top toe part ... i have no idea how?! i swear she was doing it on purpose because she HATES black shoes.
So this time i have to get something that will last hopefully a whole year ehh.

School starts on wednesday 27th. OMG time flies.

Lack of Comunication

2010-01-16T07:41:00.003+10:00

well ello,

I havent blogged in awhile since Christmas 09'. Iv just been real slack.
Not that I was busy or anything, I aint gonna lie lol. Iv just been real lazy. I hate how others always uses the excuse of 'busy' or 'work' or 'other', but they never use 'LAZY" as a excuse.
Gezz I work and I have kids, plus I look after my mother, taking her docters appointments and do errrands for everyone. I just be straight up and say 'IM LAZY'. lol.
Because I am quite lazy, and I tend to leave things for days before I get to it.

Anywho, what the hell was i babbling about up there??!! hahaaa

My New Year resolution is to:

1 - Save money
2 - Not to buy unnecassery junk
3 - No more going out
4 - Finally take my Cambodia trip!!!

Well crap goal, but hopefully i can keep it. I dont really see #4 happening, but I will try my bestest.

Oh and New Years Eve was really good. Time with my family and close friends is the bestest feeling and no alcohole was involved. WOW thats a 1st for some of us. lol
Well, we did consumed some before we left the house, but sobbered up.

pictture - NYE 09' City, Savy's appartment.

Christmas 09

2009-12-26T07:50:00.001+10:00

25122009(018)
Originally uploaded by Khem's Life

The pix just too cute.

Too bad i had to take it of him after like 2 hours because it got wayyy too hot.

We had the best Christmas EVER!!! With my family n friends.

I hope everyone enjoyed their day. Im still abit hungover so Bye for now.
xoxo Khem

3 Days Night'sl Christmas

2009-12-21T06:16:00.003+10:00

OMIGOSSH!! 3 Night's till Christmas ...

I havnt even started my Christmas shopping yet (*o*), well i have .. Im not that stupid, lol. But i need to finnish soon or im screwed!!! I hate Christmas .. (well not hate Hate it, lol .. just you know what i mean ... christmas rush n all.)

Kids pressies all bought n picked up, still not wrapped though.
Um this is just a short blog im too busy today to sit around.
Still havnt decided what to buy the Mr. yet .. but will come up with something sooon.

Anyways if i dont blog before Christmas Id like to wish everyone a Merrry Christmas and a Happy New year.

I got reward

2009-12-11T07:02:00.003+10:00

Hey i was nominated for this award by beautiful Dae's Blog

Rules:

Post the award on your blog together with the name of the person who has given you the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award :)

Im new and i dont know many bloggers yet so im just gonna give to a few and back to Dae :-P

My choosen ones are:

Mz Dae

Rin

Chan Dawee

Casey

Lydia Hope

Sidney

I want to give more, but i dont know anymore. I will add to the list later